A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and yells, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next curve, he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If only men would listen.

A saleswoman is driving through the Reservation toward home when she sees an Indian woman thumbing for a ride on the side of the road. As the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Indian woman gets in.

After a bit of small talk, the Indian woman notices a brown bag on the front seat.

"What's in the bag?" asks the Indian woman.

"It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband," says the saleswoman.

The Indian lady is silent for a moment then says, "Good trade"

DIET IMPONDERABLES

(A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you!